Dumb boys
by KseniaLynn
Summary: Kenma keeps to himself. He hates his father, adores his mother, and is displeased by strangers. His father is a college English professor, and when a student comes by for tutoring sessions Kenma can't help but notice how dumb he is. (KuroKen)
1. Dumb Stranger

"So what are you gonna tell your dad?" Hinata asked through the screen.

Kenma's golden eyes barely lifted from his PSP when he formulated his answer. He shrugged.

"I dunno. It's both that spectacular. He should be happy that I'm at least not gay," he responded. Hinata hummed and tapped his fingers on his laptop on his side of the call.

"Is it really that big of a deal in Japan? Aren't you all Buddhist or something?" He questioned. Again Kenma shrugged.

"I don't pay a lot of attention to it. It might just be my dad or certain people, but from my experience it's not commonly talked about. Plus I'm not really religious. There's a majority of Buddhists or Shinto, but I don't know the details," he said.

"Huh. That's interesting. I guess it really does depend on the person. Here in America there are Christians who are all for gay rights and then there are some who absolutely despise it," he pointed out. Kenma nodded.

"Hey do you wanna hop online? Maybe it won't lag as much now that my sister is asleep and her tablet is off," Hinata suggested. Kenma held up a finger.

"In a moment I'm almost done with this battle," he said. Hinata sighed.

"Alright," he murmured.

It took Kenma exactly thirty seconds before he had defeated his battle and then finally refocused his attention to his online game. Just as he was about to open a new webpage for the server he heard a noise outside. Hinata must've heard it too because they both had a curious look on their face. It sounded like an engine or a car starting or stopping. For some reason it made Kenma uneasy.

"What was that?" Hinata asked.

The blond boy crawled off his bed and checked out his window. He frowned and his brow furrowed when he spotted an unfamiliar car parked outside his house. It was sleek and silver, but it also looked a little beat up. He assumed it was a used car, and therefor belonged to a college student or something like that. Since he didn't gain any value or interest in it, he returned to his spot in front of his laptop.

"It's a car. Probably another bone headed student my dad can't teach," he reported blandly as he grabbed his head phones and slipped them on.

"Ahhh…your headphones are so cute. I love them," Hinata said cheerfully. Kenma remembered the cute Neko Atsume designs painted on the sides. It was a favor an artistic friend lent him after he helped with their homework.

"Oh right. I forget about those designs really easily," he murmured and logged in to the gaming server.

"Ugh. I wish I had the patience to paint my headphones like that. I always get too excited and I can't hold the brush properly," he frowned.

"If you send me your pair I could get the friend who painted mine to paint it on yours," he offered. Hinata gasped with wide eyes.

"Really? Awesome!"

"But you'd probably be missing your headphones for a couple weeks or so. Plus it might cost some money due to shipping costs," he informed him.

"I have another pair I could use. As for the money that's no problem. My mom always hooks me up with allowance," Hinata replied.

"Are you logged on? I'm opening a new game," Kenma changed the subject. Hinata nodded.

"I'm on it," he said.

They continued to play for a long time. Kenma never paid attention to the time when he was immersed in a game. Tonight was no difference. They started around eight pm Kenma's time, and it was when Hinata last reported the time. He usually pointed it out when he was worried his mother would scold him for playing video games all day. Kenma could care less if his father was disappointed with how late he was staying up. Although didn't make much noise as his ginger friend. Hinata was always grunting or making a noise or whining about dying. It was amusing to Kenma. He found the others enthusiasm to be rather enjoyable, and it was one of the reasons he kept their friendship for so long.

"Ugh…isn't it like five minutes from midnight there?" Hinata asked. Kenma nodded.

"Do you need to stop?" He inquired. Usually Hinata brought up the time when he needed to do something other than video games.

"For a while. My mom is at work, but I've already been asked to do dishes by my dad. He texted me earlier," Hinata said with obvious exhaustion.

"Ugh," was Kenma's simple response.

"Is that car still in your driveway? I didn't hear it leave," he spoke as he rubbed his eyes. Kenma's brows furrowed.

"I didn't hear it either…"

He glanced towards the window and slipped off his headphones. Once again he crawled off his bed and checked outside. Sure enough the best up car was still there. Kenma rolled his eyes and was about to pull away when he heard laughter and the sound of the car being unlocked. Curiosity got the best of him as he watched hid father and a total stranger walkout together and to the silver car. Golden eyes stuck to the strange outline illuminated by their porch light. It was a tall figure, probably over 180 centimeters, and Kenma assumed it was a male. He watched as the strange tall man joked with his dad and eventually made his way in to the silver car. From what he could observe he had a complete mess of a hair style, but it was hard to see from how pitch black it was. Not even his roots were that dark. He hummed and found his way back to Hinata.

"He's just leaving now," he told him. Hinata blinked.

"Like right now?" He questioned. Kenma nodded.

"I saw him. He's tall," he replied.

"Oh…"

"It was hard to see, but he doesn't seem very interesting," he murmured.

"Is that why you took so long looking at him?" Hinata challenged with a smirk. Kenma blinked.

"I literally just told you that I'm aro-ace," he reminded him. Hinata slapped his palm to his forehead.

"Crap, I'm sorry Kenma. I already forgot," he whimpered. The blond smiled a little.

"It's okay. You're distracted and I did just tell you," he assured his friend.

"Okay, but if we ever meet in real life you can punch me for every time I forget."

"I will not."

"Then I'll make you."

"Hinata-"

"Kenma? What are you still doing up?" Kenma's father stood in his doorway, talking as he knocked and opened the door. Kenma's brain automatically switched from English to Japanese and looked up at his father.

"Huh?"

"It's nearly midnight. What are you doing up?" He repeated. The blond noticed his fathers shirt. It was unbuttoned to show his undershirt and the cuffs were rolled up. He always undid his shirt after a long study session with a student.

"I'm online playing with Hinata," he spoked in perfect Japanese. Hinata had to hold back an excited whimper. He loved hearing fluent Japanese since he was studying it, and Kenma's Japanese was so precise. He loved hearing it.

"It's midnight, did you know that?"

"Yes," he nodded.

"Why don't you say goodnight to your friend and get some rest tonight. It might be summer vacation, but you still need to go to bed at reasonable times," his father lectured. Kenma looked at him with blank golden eyes.

"Sure," he said simply. His father sighed.

"I can never understand what you're thinking," he mumbled before turning around and walking out of Kenma's room.

"Goodnight," he said before closing the door. Kenma didn't say goodnight back and instead refocused on Hinata.

"What's that one word you told me about last week? It was like to describe stupid people who are easily fooled?" Kenma asked.

"Gullible," the ginger replied as he closed down his game.

"Ah. Yes. My dad is very gullible," Kenma murmured.

"Are you going to bed?" Hinata questioned. Kenma shook his head.

"Not for another hour," he answered.

"Ah. Okay. Well text me when you wake up then," he said.

"Okay. Goodnight."

"Night."

Orange hair disappeared from his screen and Kenma closed his skype window as well as his laptop. Once he tucked it between his bed and night stand and plugged it in he plopped on his stomach over his bed. He grabbed his PSP and resumed his game from earlier.

This was a normal summer night for Kenma. During the school year he would go to bed earlier, but he liked staying up later since less people bothered him. His father liked to monitor him a little bit, but not in a way that actually worked. It was more of telling him what to do with no consequences or follow through. If there ever was consequences Kenma was usually smart enough to manipulate the situation in his favor. Despite his father being a college professor he really was quite, as Kenma described, gullible.

Finally around 1:30 am he decided to shut off his PSP and got up to turn off his lights. When he waddled back to his bed in the dark he didn't even bother to change out of his sweatpants and hoodie. He was comfortable so there was no need to put in the effort of changing in to cold clothes. He plopped down on his bed again and didn't even wiggle untied the covers. His eyes slowly slid shut and he was asleep within minutes.

* * *

"Kenma, would you please set that damn thing down for five minutes and enjoy breakfast with us? Your mother worked very hard this morning so we could eat together as a family. Not a husband and a wife with their part video game son," Kenma's father grumbled. Kenma's golden eyes glanced up at his frowning father before returning to his screen.

"In a moment."

"Now!"

"Honey, please. Whenever he says in a moment he means it. Just be patient," Kenma's mother cooed in a sweet voice. Right on cue Kenma paused his game and set his PSP to the side.

"See? What did I tell you," she smiled.

"It's still rude to take it to the table," his father grumbled.

"Let's get some food in us, okay? We're all hungry right?" Kenma's mother spoke in a cheerful quiet voice. Kenma nodded and his father grumbled some more.

"It is nice to see you, Kenma. I know you have a friend and all and its summer vacation, but I'd love to see you more often," his mother said as they all served themselves.

"We can trim the bonsai tree together later," he suggested. She nodded with a bright smile.

"And maybe some origami? You learn very quickly," she added hopefully.

"Maybe," was Kenma's simple response as he started to eat. His father frowned at him.

"Listen, Kenma. Your mother wants to spend more time with you, so why don't you say yes instead of maybe?" He spoke with clenched teeth.

"Because I don't know if I will feel up to origami later," he answered.

"Is it impossible for you to do something for your mother for once?" He spat impatiently.

"Are you suggesting I force myself to spend time with her rather than legitimately have interest in our activities?" Kenma spat back.

"Boys, please. We're eating breakfast," Kenma's mother hushed. The blond instantly nodded and shut his mouth before eating his food.

"Honestly, he should put-"

"Breakfast. Eat."

Kenma ended up doing origami with his mother later that day. He mostly did it for her, but also because he did feel up to it. It was easier to be around his mother. The stranger returned that night. Kenma avoided leaving his room.


	2. Dumb first meeting

Chapter 2: dumb first meeting

"Kenma, do you need some new pajama bottoms?"

The blond looked up at his mother and then to where her gaze lead. In the middle of his pajama pant leg was a hole showing his pale knee cap. He hummed in to his glass of water before shrugging.

"I guess. They still fit. The hole doesn't do much," he replied. His mother hummed and inspected it closer.

"Why don't we go buy you a new pair anyways. These ones are rather old," she suggested.

"Alright. If you want to," he answered.

"Okay. Go ahead and get dressed and we'll go in to town," she smiled.

Kenma nodded and went off to his room to do as his mother instructed. When he pulled down his old pajama pants his phone buzzed on his sheets. He checked the messaged and read it was from Hinata. Instead of putting on his pants he quickly read the message and shot back a reply. Once he had informed his American friend that he couldn't chat until later he finally pulled up a pair of sweatpants. He kept his black teeshirt on and threw on a thick hoodie over it. Hinata's response was fast as usual, and Kenma blinked down at the grey square with a question mark in it. He assumed it was one of those American emojis his phone couldn't process and ignored it.

Once Kenma and his mother slipped their shoes on they went to town as she suggested. They went to the usual store they buy his clothes from, but none of the pajama bottoms appealed to Kenma. He didn't like buying new ones because they had to have a certain texture that was hard to find in the boys section. The fabric he enjoyed was mostly in the girls section, and his father would never agree with the color pallet.

Still no matter how hard they searched they couldn't find a comfortable garment for Kenma. His mother sighed as he neatly folded another rejected pair and politely tucked them back on their table. Her eyes drifted to the girls section and she frowned.

"Let's go this way," she murmured.

Kenma follower her willingly as she lead him to the girls section. He assumed they were just passing, but wasn't disappointed when she stopped next to the shorter pair of pajama bottoms. She held out a red pair with pink cats printed over them and smiled a little.

"What do you think of these?" She asked and showed them to him. He reached out and felt the fabric before nodding.

"You love cats, right? And it's red. Sure there's some pink, but it's not too much. Besides, it's summer time and it's been really muggy lately. You need something light so you don't over heat," she said as she dropped it in to her basket. He nodded again, but he felt most of what she was saying was a justification for herself.

"Cats are nice," was his only comment.

Kenma's mother quickly made her way to the checkout center and paid for their single item. He could tell she was tense on the way home, but didn't say anything. She handed the bag to him secretly before they went in and shooed him off to his room to put it away before he came back out. He followed her instructions without any questions. By now he understood. His father would go crazy if he knew his mother bought him these. It had to look like he bought it himself of someone else got it for him. That was just the way his father was.

* * *

"Ah! Oh my god! Why do I keep dying?" Hinata growled.

"Because you suck at this game," Kenma replied. The orange haired boy giggled, his rage instantly melting away.

"Yeah, you're right. It's not my favorite," he agreed.

"It's definitely not the best…"

"Do you want to move on to another one?" Hinata asked.

"No. It's entertaining listening to and watching you lose over and over again," he teased with a straight face.

"Pffff! Meanie!" He sputtered. Kenma squeezed his lips shut to prevent a smile pulling at his lips.

"Is that one guy still at your house?" He asked. Kenma shrugged.

"I dunno. I don't particularly care about him," he said.

"He's staying later and later. How many times has he been over now?" Hinata inquired.

"I dunno. He's been coming over for a couple of weeks, but it's…what's that word…spotstastic?"

"Sporadic?"

"Yes. Not often and without much plan. Sometimes it every night, but sometimes it's every other day," he explained.

"Oh. That's weird…"

"Kinda."

"Have you seen him?" Hinata asked curiously.

"Uh…not up close. I sometimes spot him from my window. He's not that interesting," Kenma murmured as he focused mostly on the game.

"Hey! That's not fair! I'm on your team, Kenma!" Hinata whinnied as Kenma attacked his character. The blond chuckled a little.

"Sorry. I couldn't resist."

"But anyways. If you haven't seen him and he's staying so late, then how are you getting your midnight snack?" Hinata asked. Kenma froze.

"Uh…"

"You're not, are you?"

"I am," he lied just as his stomach growled. Hinata sighed.

"C'mon Kenma. If you're gonna force your body to stay up all night then you have to give it the energy to do it. Think of it like second dinner. You need it," the ginger nudged.

"I'd rather starve then come in contact with another human being," Kenma responded coldly.

"Kenma! All you need to do is grab something quick and eat it in your room or something, right?"

"Uh…my dad doesn't allow food in my room," he told Hinata.

"Oh right…I forgot."

Kenma's stomach growled again, and Hinata sighed.

"Just go and eat something. It's not like it'll be the end of the world. You can just ignore them," he urged. Kenma sighed in defeat. He was really hungry.

"Alright…"

Kenma put his game on pause and slipped his headphones off his head. He slipped off his bed and traded his comfortable pajama shorts for his longer pants with the hole in it. If his father was in the kitchen he couldn't risk him seeing the bright red fabric. Once he was safe he quietly made his way out of his room and in to the kitchen. Sure enough his father sat at the kotatsu with a tall stranger. Books and papers were spread in front of them as Kenma eyed them quietly. He opened the fridge as the two older men conversed about the subject the stranger needed help with. So far neither of them noticed him as he grabbed some left over rice from the refrigerator. He shut the fridge quietly and started to sneak away. He was almost out when-

"Ah. Kenma. Nice to see you out of your room," his father spoke. Kenma froze. He was literally two steps from the hallway.

"I needed some food," he replied only turning his head so he wouldn't have to face the stranger.

"Do you intend to eat your rice without any chopsticks?" His father asked. Crap. That was an important detail.

"Uh…I forgot about that," he mumbled and turned back to find his utensils.

"Hm. While you're here, this is my student. Kuroo Tetsurou," he announced. Kenma barely glanced at him over his shoulder.

"Ah," was his simple response.

"Why don't you introduce yourself," he suggested. His tone was implying that he was less than patient.

Kenma sighed and he turned around to do as his father asked. His golden eyes halted when they met dark brown. Something about the stranger (Kuroo?) made him feel odd. He couldn't quite understand what it was, but something about that sly smirk made him feel uneasy. Wait. Was it a smirk? Or was that just his face? His heart beat a little faster as he stared at the dark haired man. What was he doing again?

"Ah-hem…Kenma?" His father cleared his throat.

"Kozume Kenma," he said curtly with a brief bow. His father sighed.

"You're Kozume-sensei's son?" Kuroo asked. His voice struck a chord inside of Kenma. He tensed.

"Yes," he answered just as quick as last time.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," he said with a nod of his head. Kenma nodded back and looked to his father. Kozume-sensei merely raised a brow.

"I hope you weren't intending to sneak off to your room with that. You know the rules," he chided.

Kenma sighed and sat at the end of the kotatsu putting distance between him and both his father and Kuroo. Once he had started to eat his rice his father turned back to Kuroo and resumed their lessons. Apparently they had been working on English for the past few weeks. Kenma knew enough English to converse with a person his age. Obviously or else he would've been reverting back to Japanese when he spoke to Hinata.

His relationship with Hinata was so strong because they enjoyed each other's company. It was also strong because they helped each other with their second language. Hinata was currently in his third year of Japanese, and he was on track to visit Japan after the summer. Kenma had always been good at English in class, but talking with someone in English was totally different from the textbook. He preferred learning through Hinata than through his actual teacher. It was more interesting that way. Plus Hinata taught him the slang and curse words he couldn't learn at school. In return he taught Hinata basic Japanese grammar and vocabulary since he had a strange every other day schedule and he didn't have the chance to practice it everyday in class. It was a mutually beneficial trade.

Kenma was so close to finishing his rice. His chopsticks hit the bottom of the container each time he grabbed another bite. He tried his best to avoid eye contact with his father and the student, but he couldn't help but feel like he was being watched. When he glanced over he realized they were both watching him. Did they…ask him a question.

"Well, Kenma? Did you hear Kuroo's question?" Kozume-sensei asked. Kenma blinked.

"No. I did not," he replied. He must've been too focused on trying to eat as fast as possible so he could escape.

"I asked if you speak English," Kuroo repeated in English. Kenma blinked.

"A little," he responded in Japanese and returned his attention back to rice.

"Kenma is the best English speaker in his class. I'd say he's nearly fluent," his father spoke for him, again in English. Kenma had to repress an eye roll.

"That is impressive," Kuroo said.

"You've been immersing yourself, correct?"

"Yes. I've been listening to English music, watching English television, and reading the English books," Kuroo nodded. Kenma's father opened his mouth to speak, but the blond beat him to words.

"Just English books," he corrected in perfect English. The two men across the table looked at Kenma.

"Excuse me?"

"When you are talking about more than one book, and you're not being specific then you'd either say English books or some English books," he explained.

"You don't say 'the English books'."

They were both silent for a while as Kenma finished his rice and stood up to discard his utensils.

"Goodnight," he said before disappearing in to his room finally. Kuroo was stuck staring at the hallway where the small boy had walked down. He was rather impressed, but also embarrassed that a high school student corrected his grammar…

"He might not be polite, but he's right," Kozume-Sensei said. Kuroo turned his attention back to his teacher.

"His English is very fluent," he said with awe. The teacher nodded.

"I don't know where he learns it all. Sometimes he says words I've only heard from first language English speakers."

"Huh. Are you sure he just doesn't have an ambitious teacher?" Kuroo asked. He switched back to Japanese for the word ambitious merely because he had no idea how to say it in English. The teacher laughed.

"Ambitious. If you don't know a word, ask," he corrected.

"Ah. Thank you, Kozume-sens…Mr. Kozume."

"No problem. But to answer your question no. I doubt Kenma's English teacher taught him pop culture words such as supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."

"Super…what?" Kuroo had no way of knowing what the hell that word meant. His teacher chuckled.

"It's a made up word from a popular American movie, Mary Poppins," he told his student.

"Oh…he actually used that word once?"

"Yup. I had no idea to respond."

"He seems to be the kind of person to stop someone's thinking."

"Exactly."


End file.
